Making memories

    The rain subsided mid-week and we were back outside asap!  The kids were playing rollercoaster.  Hannah was checking seat belts and everything.  (More on that big pile of branches and debris all over the driveway coming soon.)

   Listening to them squeal and laugh hysterically is music to my ears.

  I am taking an online parenting course that my church suggested doing this month.  I am enjoying it.  I tend to soak good parenting wisdom right up, you could say I am a little obsessed.  I just want to get it right, you know?  I had a great revelation at the end of last year that I could strive and strive and I will never get it all right.  And that's okay, because we have God as a father who actually is perfect.  I want them to get that much more than I want them to think I did it all right.  It was so freeing to rest in that fact.

  Back to the parenting course.  I get a little extreme sometimes, like "wow, my approach has been wrong this whole time, I need to do x, y, and z now."  Or, I get down on myself like I have permanently messed up their childhood because I never did ________.  It's so stupid!  While I am soaking in all of the information and want to pour it all out, I am going to let it marinate for a time and introduce what stands out little by little.  Instead of going extreme, I am going to continue to focus on being intentional in my individual relationship with each, because at the end of the day there is no philosophy that goes against that.

  I often think about what they will remember when they look back at their childhood.  Will they think about how there were so many kids that we didn't have as much time for them?  Or that there were so many kids that there was always someone to play with and some sort of fun happening?  Of course there will be a little bit of the first, but when I am pessimistic, I think they will solely think of the first thing.  Then I definitely go extreme and act out of fear.  It's not healthy, because it's based on a lie.

  Then I capture these wonderful moments, these times (little and big) that happen every single day, and I realize I can't be held captive to negativity.  They are going to remember the crazy fun they had with each other.  They are going to look back at that time Hannah put on her rollerblades and they rode a rollercoaster down the sidewalk and the wagon fell apart and Ava was naked on the worm.  And I must choose to rest in that, because it's true.

Time to go make more memories with my kids!  Have a great weekend!